Rule #2- SBC (Sober by Choice)

Every spring, there is one event I anticipate more than free ice cream day at Ben & Jerrys(blasphemy); Brewer's Opening Day at Miller Park.

"But Leah, you don't even like baseball!" Correct. But I love that Milwaukee celebrates a mediocre baseball team because they are a great excuse to make jello shots and practice multiple forms of douche-baggery. Just because you don't believe in the Easter Bunny doesn't mean you stop giving stuff up for no-good reason for a month, right? I digress.

Much to my dismay, my good times with Strongbow were cut-short when my least favorite un-invited guest showed up; a migraine. The game had barely started, but I was already at my home in the basement, crying in pain with a bag of ice strapped to my head. Land of the free my butt. I hope Ryan Braun still got that box of kittens I had scheduled to be delivered to him during the seventh inning.

So, continuing with my efforts to control these monsters in my brain, I bring you Rule #2: SBC (Sober By Choice). For about a month now, I have not consumed any alcohol, and I gotta say, I really don't miss it. Somehow, it feels REALLY AWESOME to wake up refreshed in the morning, and to be sober enough to be the one laughing at the guy in the Affliction shirt air-humping the bejeezus out of his second cousin at the bar.

"Hey babe, want to feel my tricep?"
"No, but want to feel my left testicle? Hey, where are you going...?"

Sigh. It's a wonder I am still single.